The Domestic Abuse Development Partners (DADP) project is a five-year project (2022-2027) co-funded by Cripplegate Foundation and City Bridge Trust to explore how a relational approach can improve the experiences and outcomes for people impacted by domestic abuse. The participants of the programme are a collective of local women with lived experience of domestic abuse and local organisations who want to work together to improve the experience of survivors in Islington.

As a collective, we meet bi-monthly to share ideas and perspectives, reflect and plan upcoming actions. At our last meeting before the summer break, we agreed to take part in a ‘Conversation Wall’ to engage the public and gather their views about the situation. One of the strands of systems change work we are interested in as a group, is how to engage with and impact civil society (that is what happens amongst civilians outside of public systems like local authority services, police services etc). This stems from the reflection that domestic abuse does not occur in a vacuum but is interlinked with – and made possible by – wider ideas and perspectives perpetuated by society, including misogyny and sexism. Seeing what the public have to say on the matter felt important in developing our activities.

We came together on a sunny but somewhat windy Thursday in Angel Central shopping centre and set up a freestanding structure with four screens with the question: “What can we do as a society to tackle Domestic Abuse?”.

“Domestic abuse does not occur in a vacuum but is interlinked with – and made possible by – wider ideas and perspectives perpetuated by society, including misogyny and sexism. Seeing what the public have to say on the matter felt important in developing our activities.” ~ Laura Guy, Programme Manager 

Equipped with Post-it notes and sharpies, we approached passers-by to write their thoughts in response to the question. Some people were keen to add their perspectives, others were hesitant, saying ‘oh, that’s a big question, I don’t know’. As the day progressed however, the number of colourful Post-its started to grow.

Hundreds of people came to reflect and add a contribution. Some people came for conversation. Some stayed with us for quite some time; often people with shared experience of being affected by domestic abuse. One man, for example, tearfully recounted the impact of hearing that his sister had suffered abuse in her marriage, and that he hadn’t known.

See the wall in action

Many women spoke to us. Some spoke of the lasting impacts of the abuse on their lives, their children and their relationships with themselves and others, even years after the abuse ended. Others spoke about the impact of growing up in a home where there was abuse. Some took leaflets of local services who can help.

The 348 Post-its stuck to the wall represented a wide range of ideas and themes: from 63 about education, particularly for boys and men; to 14 around awareness raising; and 23 relating to punishing perpetrators. 66 entries were about the role of friends, family and neighbours in supporting people experiencing domestic abuse. 14 were about the role of friends and family to challenge violent or sexist behaviour. 65 notes were about services to support survivors. And 32 Post-its had words of encouragement like “speak up” and “you’re not alone”.

“Hundreds of people came to reflect and add a contribution. Some people came for conversation. Some stayed with us for quite some time; often people with shared experience of being affected by domestic abuse.” ~ Laura Guy, Programme Manager 

A number of people expressed that they thought the conversation wall was a great idea, and great use of this public space. One joked about the kinds of promotional activities that usually take place in the streets, saying: “I love expensive cheese as much as the next person, but this is a great thing to have on here”. Others spoke specifically about the question, thanking the volunteers for being present and inviting a conversation about such an important issue. One man used the difficult question as an opportunity to explain to his young daughters what domestic abuse is, and to think together as a family about what they think should be done to stop it happening.

One thing that particularly struck me as one of the facilitators on the day was that, although our question made no mention of gender, many people, (mostly but not only men), wanted to ensure it was stated that men suffer domestic abuse too, at the hands of women. Not all of the people who commented about this added post-it notes, but this was frequently discussed.

Men do undoubtedly experience domestic abuse, and some of their perpetrators are women. All abuse is serious and should not happen – there is no doubt about that. There will be some under-representation of men in the statistics, as men may not feel able to report. There will also likely be some under representation from women, too.

“We will be reflecting on the themes that came up and considering how we might play a part in influencing civil society, to address some of the intersectional and root causes of domestic abuse.” Laura Guy, Programme Manager 

However, according to Women’s Aid in 2023, 27% of women have experienced domestic abuse, and 13% of men. Of high-frequency victims – those who suffer 10 or more crimes against them – 83% are women. Of domestic abuse reports which include an element of sexual abuse, 93% of victims are women. Of domestic homicides, in 2022, 241 out of 249 of the suspects were male. In the majority of female domestic homicides, the suspect was a male partner or ex-partner (74.7%); in the majority of male domestic homicides, the suspect was a male family member (66.1%) (ONS, 2023a).  All of the above statistics can be found here.

It was interesting to me that despite these kinds of statistics being widely available, a prevalent feeling in civil society seems to object to the rhetoric that domestic abuse is a gendered issue, even when the question posed did not mention gender. It feels important that for our society to be able to tackle domestic abuse, we need to hold realistic views as to what domestic abuse is, and what enables it to continue.

In our next meeting of the Development Partners, we will be reflecting on the themes that came up and considering how we might play a part in influencing civil society, to address some of the intersectional and root causes of domestic abuse. The insights we gathered from the public will help to stimulate the discussion and offer insights into perspectives that differ from or challenge our own.

A huge thank you to Angel Central for hosting the Conversation Wall, and to all of the partners and staff who supported on the day.

By Laura Guy 

Laura is the Programme Manager at Cripplegate Foundation. She has previously worked in a range of health and social care roles and has a particular interest in coproduction and systems change to work towards a more equal society. Laura’s work includes leading on the Development Partners Programme which aims to improve how people in Islington experiencing domestic abuse are reached.

The Domestic Abuse Development Partners (DADP) project is a five-year project (2022-2027) to explore how a relational approach can improve the experiences and outcomes for people impacted by domestic abuse. In other words, to explore how to embed the How Not What approach in a particular sector in a particular location (Islington), and to see how this impacts the experience of survivors and those working with them. It is led by a coalition of Islington women who have experienced domestic abuse, Cripplegate Foundation, two statutory sector (Islington Council VAWG team and Islington Police) and four voluntary sector partners (Solace, The Maya Centre, Maa Shanti and KMEWO).

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